Letting Go

BE (before Everly) I would have easily admitted that patience was not my strong point. I liked to have a plan and a contingency for everything. I liked to be in control. Then, during the biggest blizzard we had in Japan this winter, this tiny lady came into my world. She did so peacefully, happily, beautifully. She took our hearts and with them any perceived control of life. Babies dictate life. They cry when they want, eat when they want, play when they want. You can teach them what you want but that doesn't mean they'll do it. They look at your carefully laid plans of being the perfect mother and cry in your face. Then they smile at you and melt your heart to a tiny puddle and remind you of why you do what you do every single day. So how do you cope? You let it all go. The ultra-clean home, the hot meal on the table, sometimes even the shower at the beginning of the day. You develop ridiculous amounts of patience for a tiny little person. And you let the concept of perfection go. You accept that sometimes dirty clothes pile up and beds don't get made. Sometimes dinner is a frozen lasagna. Sometimes your hair ends up in a pony tail instead of being washed. You let go of the control you once had over your life, you kiss that tiny baby's chubby cheeks, and you embrace the chaos with both arms. You become happier than you ever knew was possible. And you love with a love so fierce and deep that it could move the world.

xo Sue