I love full moons and tonight's was extra amazing. Super moon. Blood moon. Lunar eclipse. SO MUCH ENERGY. I felt it pulsing through my windows into my home and I soaked it all up as soon as I stepped outside. It was wonderful to spend time in the moonlight, watching her travel through the sky and change as she made her way around. I love this.

Amazing photos taken by my sister Cori.

I've been struggling with my changing body through this pregnancy.

These photos were exactly what I needed.

I'm obsessed.

xo Sue

I'm coming up on an accidental anniversary. It's been almost three years now since I stopped wearing makeup on a regular basis. It wasn't something I planned or set out to do, but I am so glad that it happened. 

When I was pregnant with Everly I was so very sick to the point that looking in the mirror to put on mascara was completely out the window. And so I stopped doing it. Then I started to feel better when she was born, but I always had a little person to take care of. And to be honest, I would always rather play with her than put on makeup. So a year went by and I hardly ever put on makeup. It had slowly but surely become my normal state. Now when I look in the mirror I look unfamiliar when I have mascara on (let alone anything else!). Yes, the makeup can enhance my natural beauty, but by ending my everyday relationship with makeup I've realized something: no amount of makeup can make me beautiful if I don't already feel it inside.

I loved Amy Schumer's video "Girl You Don't Need Makeup" and her #girlyoudontneedmakeup following that came from it. If you want a hilarious take on our culture give it a watch!

xo Sue

Two weeks ago I took a trip to Death Valley + Las Vegas. I was attending my third Sacred Pregnancy retreat and a Sacred Living Movement Leadership retreat. It was 10 days of awesome. Sometimes I cannot believe what a fun/amazing/beautiful job I have. I really have the best job in the world and I work with some of the most awe-inspiring women I've ever met.

At the end of our second day at the Sacred Pregnancy retreat we went to walk a labyrinth in the dessert before we completed our fear release exercise. It was one of the most powerful experiences I've had in a long time. The ground was sharp, completely covered in tiny rocks, but I chose to walk the labyrinth barefoot. I'm not sure what came over me as I kicked my shoes off to begin the walk but I'm so glad I chose to go that way. At first the steps I took weren't bad. They were a little painful at times but mostly okay. As the labyrinth went on it got more painful and I started to question my sanity. I had one hand on my belly connecting with my sweet baby and one hand closed around the rock I'd written my fears on for our release. For a few minutes I cursed myself for taking off my shoes, but slowly I changed my attitude. I'd chosen to step into the very rocky labyrinth barefoot. I'd chosen to do something hard. Because I knew that I could. It was such a lightening bolt moment for me. Why do I choose to do hard things? Because I know that I can do them. And I'm a stronger, more confident person when I finish them. I'm better for the hard things that I do. 

I started to relate the labyrinth to childbirth. The way I chose to birth Everly was hard. There is no way around that. Many people questioned why I could choose the way I did but to me, it was the best way for her to come into the world. I knew that's how she wanted to be born so I did it for her. For this baby I get even more questions. We're planning a home birth that I get asked about frequently. Why would I choose something hard? Why would I choose to birth my baby free of medications? My answer... because I deeply feel that my baby wants me to and I am more than willing to do hard things for my children. 

Sometimes we make choices and do hard things in life. Sometimes in a moment of crazy we step barefoot into a rocky labyrinth that takes us fifteen minutes to walk through. Sometimes we question why we did that hard thing in the first place when it would have been so much easier to just keep our shoes on. But the truth is, life isn't supposed to be easy. We can choose the hard way and come out the other side even stronger and braver than we went in. That's what I did when I walked the labyrinth. 

I came out strong. I came out brave. I came out ready to release my fears that were holding me back. I came out with a deeper connection to my body and my baby and I came out ready to do this hard thing because I choose to. 

xo Sue

amazing photo c/o Kiera Lillesve Foto

When I look back over this past year so many emotions come up. We had good and bad and scary. Honestly, it was a hard year. But we learned a lot and we've been blessed with some amazing things that have come our way. My word last year was intention and it was really wonderful to watch how my life unfolded when I lived with intention and not just day to day. When pregnancy and hyperemesis hit I stopped posting my intentions to the blog but I kept journaling them and sharing them with myself. Even though I didn't complete every intention I set, it was huge for me to see the way each of them developed. It made all the difference in the world. This year my word is...

magic.

I've thought a lot about this word the past few days. Picking a word is hard! But no matter what else I considered, I kept coming back to magic. It followed me around and insisted this was the year that I focus on finding the magic in my life. So that's what I'll be doing this year.

Aaron and I have two big plans for 2015. We're going to have our second child and become a little family of four (I say little because I come from a family of eight) and we're going to find a space to call our home. I'm excited for both of these endeavors and I hope the second comes before the first, though I'm not placing restrictions on myself. I've learned my lesson there.

I also have a few small intentions for the year (because intentions rock even if it's not your word for the year).

• one family picture each month - I did this in 2014 and it was one of my favorite things I did. The progression of our family month to month is so fun, especially as I watch Everly change!
• read at least 2 books each month - Last year I wanted to read 1 book a week and it got overwhelming pretty quickly. I got off track for a bit and then got back on course  a while later. It was a huge thing to undertake. But I love reading so I'm making the intention smaller but still relevant. Hopefully it helps! 
• have an outing with Everly once a week - This can be big like taking her to an amusement park for her first baby roller coaster (I'm excited to do that this summer!) or small, like a trip to the zoo or local park. At least once a week the two of us will leave the house to do something just for her. And in July we'll add a third wheel who will sleep while we play.
• cook one new recipe each week - This might be my favorite intention for the year. I cannot express how much I love cooking and (not to brag too hard) I'm very good at it. I read far too many food blogs (if there's such a thing?) and pin amazing recipes all the time. I'm going to try at least one new recipe each week so my family and I can all enjoy the benefits of my cooking skills. 
• date night with Aaron - Is once a week to much to ask for a date night with my husband? I hope not, because I am. I want to go on a date with Aaron once a week, even if that date is a trip to the store without Everly in tow! We can grab some coffee and call it a romantic stroll.

Cheers to that wild, crazy, beautiful 2014 and lets bring on the MAGIC for 2015!

PS How adorable is that photo? Everly thought Christmas morning was the most amazing thing ever and all she wanted was to go play with her toys.

I know, these photos go against cardinal blog rule #1- always use great photos. But I don't care. 

Today I want to talk about body love. There was a time in my life I would have been SO ashamed of this body. I would have hidden it and made excuses and I definitely wouldn't have put a bikini on this body. Why not? Because it's not perfect.

Growing up I never gave any thought to body image. I was a girl and that's about as far as I'd thought. When I reached middle school I had a few friends who were obsessed with weight. They were constantly "dieting" and always called themselves fat. I was the same size or smaller than them so I made the conclusion that if they were fat then I must be too. The logic of a 13 year old girl. Instead of talking to my mother about it (or anyone) I started to hate my reflection in the mirror. Sure, there were days I thought I was pretty, but for the most part I didn't like the girl looking back at me. I was overly critical of myself and always saw my flaws. Now that I look back at pictures from that time I think WHAT FLAWS? That one tiny zit? I was very hard on myself. And I know that I'm not alone. So many girls and women hate what they see when they look in a mirror. That is SO SAD to me.

My shift came when I was pregnant with Everly. I looked in the mirror and saw my growing belly and I realized it could be another reason to hate myself, or I could LOVE that beautiful belly that was holding my daughter. I chose the latter. It was a conscious choice and one that I had to make every time I looked in the mirror. I didn't always make the right choice, but I did most of the time. When I found out I was having a baby girl I knew I had to be better for her. Everly deserves a mom who loves herself and especially loves her body. She deserves to grow up knowing that she is beautiful no matter what she weighs or how "perfect" she looks.

This body of mine, this after-baby body, is beautiful. I can look at these pictures and point out flaws or I can look at them and think about how strong and powerful that body is. I can do so much. I have so much. And I am grateful for this body. A few extra pounds, a small blemish on my skin, none of that matters. What really matters is that I appreciate this body I have. I appreciate what a gift it is. I want Everly to know that being a woman is a wonderful thing and loving your body can come easily if you just embrace yourself completely.

Flaws, perfection, it's all the same really.

xo Sue

PS Read more about loving myself.

(image source)

It's actually been about 10 days since I saw this post at Delightfully Tacky (one of my very favorite blogs) but it's stuck in my head and I want to write a response to it.

I feel that most of the time I'm pretty good at achieving my goals, or as I refer to them intentions. I try to follow my dreams. But I didn't always do that. The follow through part has been difficult in the past (and sometimes still is). The thing that really changed for me is having a baby. I talk about this a lot, but having a baby changed me in so many ways. I realized I wanted to be better because she deserves better. She deserves a mama who loves herself, takes care of herself, and follows her dreams. She deserves to have a happy, loving mom. 

So to the question at hand... I think the biggest thing that keeps me from achieving my goals is a fear of failure. And it keeps me from setting some goals in the first place. That age old question "What would you do if you knew you would not fail?" sometimes haunts me. I have big, grand plans but I worry that others won't love them as much as I do. I worry that people won't understand and I'll realize I'm living in my own little world. I worry that no matter how hard I work or how much I put myself out there I won't see the result come back to me. I worry that I'll have a lack of abundance. And now with a daughter and a family to think of, it's a little more scary to take a big risk because I'm not the only one affected by it.

Starting my new website was a huge leap for me. I've thought of myself as a healer for a while now but I don't really say it out loud. Does it sound corny? Will people grill me on what that means? Will they judge me when I don't answer the way they want? Will they reject me because they think I'm a little bit crazy? It's tough to put myself out there in the way my heart tells me to. This is not the age of healers, this is the age of pretty clothes and fancy shoes and posting your best pictures on Instagram (guilty). And I love all of those things. But I love wholeness and healing and healthy living. I love good body image and really, I love myself. I love who I am and I'm trying so hard to let the world see the real me.

I'm taking a really amazing course right now through the Sacred Living Movement called I AM Sisterhood and one of the things we've discussed is what we would do if we knew we would not fail. This was mine.

If I knew I would not fail I would open a studio and it would have everything I love. I would teach yoga, Sacred Pregnancy, Beginnings, hold sisterhood circles, and dance lessons. I would practice healing modalities at my studio. I would have books and tea and treats. There would be cozy chairs and pillows and blankets. We would have an art studio where my husband could draw and my daughter could go a little crazy. There would be educational toys for kids and a whole space for my daughter to call her own. There would be massage and a space to meet with doula clients. It would be a place for healing, for learning, for love. Now that I have this space in mind I can envision it all and I'm going to make it a reality one day. I've started to draw up some rough sketches and a small business plan. It's in the very beginning stages of growing but I know that this is where I will end up and I am really looking forward to it. It may be slow, but nothing will keep me from achieving this goal. 

xo Sue

(ever image)

xo Sue

About halfway through taking pics with Everly she decided she was done. That was fine with me because I wanted to get some fun shots of myself too. Sometimes you just need fancy pictures! The last one is my favorite. 

xo Sue

In April my intention was to SLOW DOWN. And while I feel like I did that to an extent... I think May has been the month that I've really come through for myself. It's been unintentional but my body let me know that it was time to take an out breath. It started with a migraine. They're icky but they always pass so they don't get me down too far. After that I scaled back a little bit but I got another one. Okay body, I get it, you want a break. And so I've made a conscious effort to work when it's time to work and put it down when it's time to play. I'm not perfect... and my phone has email so you know... but I've been trying a lot harder and that's what makes the difference.

Everly and I had my sister Cori take some pics for us yesterday. I'm in love. My lady, she's just perfect. And I made the giant flower crown on my head. I want to offer them in my shop but I almost feel like they're too special to do that. I make them for myself, my friends, my family, and my pregnant mamas that I work with. I make them because they make my soul happy. Tomorrow I'll share more pics. For today it's just a glimpse! 

xo Sue

It's funny how life can be both good and bad. Or perhaps not be good and bad, but have good and bad. I can feel both joy and pain in a day, or a moment. The past few days Everly has been feeling icky and it makes me SO grateful that she's usually a healthy and active little lady. Sick Everly is not someone you want to cross paths with. She also had an allergic reaction to a nut on Friday night that scared us pretty badly. No one in our family has a nut allergy so we never thought she would but oh were we wrong. Lucky it was moderate as allergic reactions go. Itchy hives all over but no swelling of the throat or other body parts. We gave her an oatmeal bath, itch relief lotions, and some medicines and she was feeling much better. But really, this poor little lady needs a break from feeling icky. 

This past week we celebrated my birthday. Another year older, another year wiser. Or something like that. I found that turning 28 wasn't painful at all. It came and went as any other day, except with more sugar than usual. Yesterday we had my birthday dinner with the family. It's a tradition that we get to pick our favorite food and my mom cooks it for us on the Sunday before or after our birthday (or whenever we can). All the siblings and our wonderful extras gather around my mom's giant dining room table and enjoy each others company with delicious food in the middle. And one at a time we go around the table saying what we love about the birthday person. Sometimes it's hard to hear good things about yourself (our society has trained us well) but it's a really special tradition. 

As my family went around the table saying what they love about me I found myself feeling proud. It wasn't a feeling I was expecting but they were pointing out all my best characteristics and features and telling me that they loved them. They talked about how I put my whole heart into things and go out of my way to take care of others. They talked about how I'm strong and smart and funny. They talked about how I'm a good mother. Even writing these things down I feel a little vain- repeating them for the world to see. Seriously society, you've trained us well. It's hard to see the good in myself, even when others are pointing it out. But yesterday I let myself see it. I let myself feel like a good mother, a good sister, a good wife, a good person. 

Oh this beautiful journey of Self Love is liberating.

xo Sue

In honor of 28 fabulous years of life I want to share 28 random things with you today. They're a little strange and a lot silly and completely me. 

1. I love cupcakes but not regular cake. I'm also not a fan of ice cream, although I loved it while I was pregnant. 
2. This year I will be hosting two Sacred Pregnancy mini retreats & one I AM Sisterhood retreat (at my family's cabin!). I am so excited about them both!
3. I have to eat small candies in twos. M&M's, skittles, and chocolate chips to name just a few.
4. Everly's smile makes every moment good.
5. I try not to refer to Aaron as my husband too often because he is SO MUCH MORE than that to me. Husband is too restrictive of a term for how amazing that man is.
6. I believe in karma.
7. I also believe in positive energy and putting good vibrations into the world. Bad things happen to good people but you always have a choice of how to react in any situation. Lemons to lemonade and all that stuff.
8. Everly's baby pictures and the only thing that make me want another child. She was and is the most adorable baby ever. I'm only a little biased.
9. In the last two months I've started to realize the beauty in doing things for myself. My life is about my husband and daughter but I can't be my best for them if I don't take care of me. So it's okay to get a pedicure or have my hair done once in a while. Those things make me feel good.
10. I rock Everly to sleep each night while I sing to her. The song Bow Now by Nina Lee is my favorite to sing and the most soothing song I've found for Everly. It's my song for her.
11. I get to be a part of two weddings this year for two ladies that I love. 
12. Working with Sacred Pregnancy has changed my life in ways I cannot fully explain. I am a better, brighter, more beautiful person because of it. If I talk about it too much it's because I love it so deeply.
13. I believe that I have the power to change the world for the better.
14. Girl On Fire by Alicia Keys is one of my theme songs. When I want to just feel good I put it on and dance around my room. The way I did when I was five and didn't care what anyone thought. I'm moving back to that feeling. 
15. The Mother's Wisdom Deck really knows me. And Everly.
16. I am so grateful that Everly has Lizzie to grow up with. I hope that she gets a sister of her very own one day. There is nothing as wonderful as a sister. Cousins are pretty fantastic too.
17. I'm very behind on my reading one book a week this year. I'm going to catch up though! For my birthday I was gifted with a few books that I know I won't be able to put down.
18. Mini chewy sweet tarts are my favorite candy ever.
19. I make the best chocolate chips cookies in the world. 
20. I love dinner foods for breakfast and breakfast foods for dinner.
21. When I was little I used a silk pajama and a refrigerator magnet to make myself a princess.
22. I LOVE to make flower crowns and wear them in everyday life. My friends are starting to refer back to me for all things floral and hippie and it makes my heart happy.
23. I'm currently researching schools to become an herbalist. I think being a Doctor of Oriental Medicine would be an amazing career path. Also a Midwife. But if I only ever stay a doula I would be happy always.
24. Everly and Aaron playing together is my favorite thing. Except when I join in and play too.
25. I love to take pictures, especially birth stories. 
26. I will spend more to support a good friend or a local business than to go to a corporate store. That being said, I love a good deal! 
27. Books and flowers make the best gifts.
28. Taking TWO family pictures in two days was a major accomplishment. Bonus points that they're both adorable!

I'm not really sure how to do these intentions posts. Do I recap last month? Is that boring for everyone but me? Probably but I suppose I'll do it anyway because it holds me accountable. Also this is my blog and my record of our life so I can do what I want, right? One of my 2014 intentions for the year was to take a family picture every month and here is January. It's taken in bad light with an iPhone but we got a picture of the three of us together. That's quite rare.

The other 2014 intentions I've made progress on are writing on the blog 2-3 times a week (did it for January!) and read 1 book a week. For the four weeks in January (I didn't count that tiny partial week) I read Allegiant by Veronica Roth, Pandemonium by Lauren Oliver, Requiem by Lauren Oliver, and The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer. The first two were good, the third was okay, the fourth was fantastic. If you're looking for a recommendation read that one! And as for finding happiness and loving myself, I've definitely been doing some of that. I'll write more about it a different day though.

For my January only intentions I did pretty well. I don't remember exactly how often I painted my nails but I do know I had nail polish on them every single day (though some many days it was chipped). I wanted to go to the gym with Aaron at least three times a week. I went five to six times a week on my own and Aaron joined me about half the time. So I think I can count that one as finished. And my birth clients, oh my sweet pregnant mamas. I don't officially have any new clients but I've got meetings or phone interviews set up to chat with a few ladies who are looking for a doula. It's been slow starting but I'm dedicated more now than ever and I will do this.

As for February intentions...

• I will continue to grow my doula business and search for women to connect with.
• I will go to California for a Sacred Pregnancy retreat so I have something new to offer my birth clients. 
• I will continue going to the gym and loving my body. 

Simple and sweet, just the way I like them. Also, I will not cry (too much) when my baby turns one. If you made goals/resolutions/intentions how are you doing on them? They're hard to keep up with some days! 

xo Sue

So I've been tagged lately in a few of those "11 things" or "15 things" or whatever else has been floating around on the internet. I shared a few randoms here and there but I thought it would be easier to do one simple post instead of trying to respond to everything everyone has tagged lately. I love them all but I just don't have the time! So here it is, 15 (pretty random) things you may not know about me.

1. I never planned on having children. People would say I'd be a great mother someday but that wasn't how I saw things going for me. Luckily Everly had other ideas and joined our family at the perfect time. She is spectacular and I couldn't do life without her. 
2. I've been married twice. The first time was painful and awful, though not always, and it taught me so much about love and life. Divorce was a difficult thing to go through but I am this person today because of the difficult things I've been through and I really like me. I count Aaron in my blessings every single day and thank all the good in the world for him. He is my better half.
3. I am a doula, but if you told me five years ago that it would be my job one day there is no way I would have listened. I didn't understand the miracle of childbirth back then and I certainly didn't want anything to do with it. Now I can't imagine doing anything else.
4. I love to sew. I was always scared of it because I "didn't know what I was doing" and everyone around me seemed to make amazing things that I could never measure up to. Then one day I sat down to a machine and taught myself and I've been in love ever since.
5. I love to take pictures. I take all our family pics and do them for some close friends and family as well. I don't think I would ever want to be a professional photographer though. 
6. I have a book collection to rival a small library. I will read anything I can get my hands on and often times I'm reading multiple books at the same time. I love getting lost in another world, another life, another story.
7. I'm writing a novel. I've been writing it for a while now and one day I will finish it and (hopefully) publish it. Before my divorce I was writing a really beautiful story but I stopped because after the divorce it became very angry and bitter. I didn't want to ruin my story but I couldn't find any positive energy to put into it so I stopped. I don't think I'll ever finish that one.
8. I love to help people. I think that's part of what drew me to doula work. But truly, I love it. I'm not saying I'm selfless (because I'm definitely not), I'm saying I help people and it makes me feel great. So maybe it's selfish to help other people just to make myself feel good? It's something to think about.
9. I have played the piano since I was five and I'm quite good. I'm not to the level of concert pianist or anything like that but I can play almost anything you put in front of me. It wasn't until band class in middle school when my teacher was introducing us to the basics that I realized most people can't read music. 
10. I don't like movies very much but I love TV shows. I prefer the in-depth stories and three dimensional characters that television offers to the quick burst of a movie. If I'm not in a theater I cannot sit still and watch a movie start to finish. 
11. I work with the movement Sacred Pregnancy and I deeply believe in it. There is something about pregnancy that changes a woman and the world needs to put the sacred back into pregnancy. I love working with them and I count myself so lucky that I get to be a small part of this amazing organization. 
12. I like to do things that scare me. Not in a terrified out of my mind way, but in a way that I get that adrenaline rush that makes my heart race. When I got my tattoo I planned and waited for weeks before doing it (since that's kind of permanent) but when I went in to do it I was thrilled and I had such a rush. When I jumped on a plane to Japan 2 days after buying a ticket just to have a new adventure I felt the same thing. I love to be adventurous. 
13. Aaron saved me when I really needed saving. I was anti-love and that's not a good way to live your life. I completely credit him for helping me realize that it wasn't love I needed to be against. I tried pretty hard to push him away when we started to get close but he knew this was something special, extraordinary even, and he told me so. And he was right. I am so lucky he knew we would be worth it and he stuck with me through the bad to get to the good.
14. Everly saved me when I didn't even realize I needed saving. Aaron and I were living a happy little life together but we had a gaping hole. I didn't know it. I didn't know something was missing. The day I found out I was pregnant that hole was filled and I realized how desperately I wanted the tiny baby growing inside me. I also became paralyzed with fear over the next 9 months that somehow I wouldn't get her. 
15. Being a mom is the scariest thing I've ever done in my life. It is a daily fight to not be too protective, too overbearing, too worried about every step my daughter takes. It is the most terrifying, rewarding, difficult, amazing, wonderful thing I've ever done in my life. I think these pictures say it all.

xo Sue

It has been a crazy time with moving from Japan to Utah with a week long stop in Missouri (have to visit the in-laws, right?). Everly did amazing on the 12 hour plane ride and 24+ hours straight of traveling. She also was a champ while we drove across the country. I have the best baby. Seriously. I promise I'll be back to blogging with a vengeance soon! In other news, remember when I asked for hair help? Well I chopped it off today. It was so liberating and I absolutely love it. My fantastic sister-in-law Rachel cut it for me. She graduated from beauty school over the winter and I think she's pretty great already. What do you think?

PS doesn't her smile just make you happy? I am the luckiest to be her mom.

xo Sue

This is my hair right now. On the right. It's super long. And it's dead. I mean not literally, but it's pretty dry and hates me so it might as well be. While I was pregnant this hair was gorgeous. I didn't have to do anything to it and it just looked fabulous every.single.day. Now that I'm not baby growing it has given up on me. So when I move to Utah (in just over a week!!!) I'm cutting it all off. This is where I need your help my friends. I can't decide how to cut it. I want it to or above my shoulders but I'm not opposed to going shorter than that. I'm not super attached to my long hair. It just sort of happened as a pregnancy side effect! I'm ready to go short again. Now I need opinions. Which of these hairstyles do you think I should go with? I posted them on Instagram a few days ago but I thought I'd ask my bloggy friends for advice as well. So which do you like?? Help my poor hair!

And what do you think of this color??

xo Sue

"A change in direction was required. The story you finished was perhaps never the one you began." -Salman Rushdie

Thing on my mind: This last month has been intense. I never knew we could get so much done in so little time and still have so much to do. The next few days are do or die! We're definitely excited for the direction life is going though.

Project: Packing and moving while still trying to be a good mom and give my baby girl all the love and attention she deserves. Guess which one I like better and do more? I think the boxes should pack themselves.

Favorite moment: Watching Aaron and Everly play together. He can make her laugh like no one else can. It's magic.

Songs on repeat: Demons and Carry On.

Favorite activity: Doing silly things to make Everly laugh. Also, nighttime baths.

Books I'm reading: The Honest Life, The Defining Decade, and Inferno.

Food I'm loving: Crepes. Anything you can put on a crepe I'll eat. Well... almost anything.

Show I can't get enough of: American Horror Story. We just finished season two and oh my goodness. Creepy! I cannot wait for season three.

Daily revelation: I am loved.

Favorite pictures:

xo Sue

10 years ago... I was a junior in high school. I was on the drill (dance) team and we'd just won the State championship. That was pretty awesome.

5 years ago... I was going to school at the University of Utah (the same place Aaron's going soon!) as an English major. Because I'm a nerd. I was also married (not to Aaron).

1 year ago... I was already pregnant and had NO idea. It was the best surprise I never saw coming. Seriously, I was 6 weeks along before we even found out because it was so far from my mind. She had other plans.

Now... I'm snuggled up to a sleeping 3 month old baby. She is the most precious thing in the world. I cannot believe she's been in this world for 3 months already. I feel like I just gave birth to her.

1 year from now... I'll (mostly likely) have a walker in my home. Perhaps a talker too? That seems way too soon. My youngest sister will be graduating from high school which officially makes me old.

5 years from now... My baby will be ready for kindergarten. I'm already considering (and leaning strongly towards) homeschooling. I won't say for sure until it gets here though.

10 years from now... My newborn will be 10. And I don't even want to think about that because I'll never be ready for it. I just decided that Everly is never allowed to grow up. Ever.

Today I'm sharing my favorite photo of myself. I know I've shared this before when I posted all my maternity pictures but this one is my absolute favorite. Pregnancy was rough but I wouldn't trade it for anything. It was a uniquely spiritual and personal experience. I've never felt so alive.

xo Sue

Today's writing prompt: something difficult about your lot in life and how you're overcoming it. This is a hard one. I've already talked about how Aaron lost his job and we're moving across the ocean in less than a month. Those are the difficult things in life right now. But I don't feel like I (or we) have a difficult lot in life. I have Aaron. I have Everly. I have parents who love and support me, siblings who always make me smile, a niece that I adore, and friends who make everything good. I suppose some people may think my optimism is fake but it's not. I truly see the good in life and I'll always look for it, even when things are hard. Life is what you make it. You can be happy with nothing and miserable with everything.

But here it is, something difficult that I'm working to overcome. When I was 17 my boyfriend was driving me home. We were on the freeway and got rear ended by another car going almost twice as fast as us. Our car was thrown across four lanes of traffic. Needless to say, it was pretty bad. My back has never been the same since. I have horrible back issues and a crooked spine. While I was pregnant it was even worse because of the baby bump weighing so heavily on it. So to overcome the daily aches and pains I do yoga. During pregnancy I modified and did prenatal yoga but I kept it in my life. I stopped for a few weeks after having the baby (the doc told me I needed to) but I'm back into it now and it's amazing. I do yoga every morning when I wake up. Even if it's only for a few minutes, I make sure to get in those great stretches and exercises for my body. It's made a world of difference with how my back feels every day. I am so grateful for the blessing of that in my life.

xo Sue