{day 12}

Nov 30, 2010

Something you never get compliments on.
Okay, I'm just not sure what to put here.  Obviously there are things I don't get compliments on.  But they're probably not things I should get compliments on.  The first thing that came to mind made me laugh out loud and is probably inappropriate to write on my blog.  So now I have to think of another one.  It will probably sound a little weird but here it is.
I don't really get compliments on how smart I am.
That probably sounds conceited.  I don't care.  I am a lot smarter than I think people give me credit for.  I have a great memory and I learn things easily and quickly.  I love being in school because I love learning new things and expanding my knowledge.  I also have a pretty deep understanding of people and how they work.  I am proud of how quick my mind is and I just wanted to share that.  I am a smart girl

{day 11}

Nov 29, 2010

Something people seem to compliment you the most on
Three things.  
My EYESmy SMILE (or more accurately) my DIMPLES, and my LAUGH.
I do like my eyes.  They change color.  Sometimes they're green, sometimes they're hazel, sometimes they're grey, and sometimes they're blue.  It really depends on the day, my mood and what I wear.  
I supposed my dimples are pretty great too.  When I was younger I thought everyone had them because everyone in my family does and I never really noticed that other people don't.  Then I started hearing from people how great they were and I realized that they're special.  So I love them.
My laugh I've never really understood.  But apparently it's infectious because when I laugh, I mean really LAUGH, people around me can't help but join in.  
So there you are, those are some of the good things about me!

{day 10}

Nov 28, 2010

Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn't know.
I'm happy to say I don't have one of these.  Like I said in a previous post...
I now know better than to let people treat me badly.

{day 9}

Nov 27, 2010

Someone you didn't want to let go, but just drifted.
There are lots of people who fit into this category.  I don't really want to start listing them.  
It's enough to say old friends, from high school, college, and life in general.
It's just the way life goes.  I love all my friends, both past and present.  And I'm pretty good at keeping in touch with people.  But no one is perfect!  I am grateful for facebook and blogs and the online world in general because it allows me to keep in touch with people who I would otherwise have lost by now.  People always move in and out of your life and I am grateful for everyone who has been a part of mine.

{day 8}

Nov 26, 2010

Someone who made your life horrible, or treated you like crap.
Alright, I can't believe I'm about to share this.  We all know that now I am a strong, smart, self-aware woman but I haven't always been this way.  The one I'm going to share doesn't get a name.  
He's a guy I used to date and we'll leave it at that.
He broke me down, both mentally and physically and I was honestly terrified of him.  It was one of the worst times in my life.  My mom doesn't know this but she's the one who saved me from that relationship.  It took me a long time to get up the courage to break it off with him.  When I finally did I was stalked, threatened and taunted by him.  It was horrible.  But there's one good thing that came out of it.  I have NEVER let a person treat me like that since then and I NEVER will.  I have self-esteem now that didn't exist before.  I've learned how to deal with people who treat me badly.  And I've learned that I'm worth a lot more than how he made me feel.  

{day 7}

Nov 25, 2010

Someone who has made your life worth living for.
I'm having a hard time with this one.  It's not that other people aren't worth it.  But I've learned the hard way when your life revolves around something and it's taken away... well your life should still be worth living.
So now I live for myself.
That probably sounds incredibly selfish but that's not how I mean it.  I have been through so much and there's a lot I've learned.  And one of those many things is I've learned how to be happy, secure & comfortable in my own skin.  Definitely my family is worth being here for.  But if you depend on others for your happiness you're never going to be truly happy.  You have to find it inside you and let it grow from there.  And that's why as much as I love you all I think the life most worth living for is mine.

PS Happy Thanksgiving!  I am thankful for all my friends and family, now more than ever.  I love you.

{day 6}

Nov 24, 2010

Something you hope you never have to do.
The one I always had nightmares about happened this year.  But here's another one.
I hope I never have to lose a close family member.
And I don't think I need to explain this one.

{day 5}

Nov 23, 2010

Something you hope to do in your life.
Obviously there's too many to list, but here's a few.
Write a book.
Graduate from college.
Go skydiving.
Run a marathon.
Learn to salsa.
Compose my own music.
Visit all 50 states.
Photograph the world.
And always remember:
Live every moment.
Laugh every day.
Love all the time.

{day 4}

Nov 22, 2010

Something you have to forgive someone for.
This one will be obvious.  I'll say it anyway.
I'm learning to forgive my ex husband.
He broke my heart.  He destroyed my world.  My life was one way.  Then literally out of nowhere it was the exact opposite.  This is the first and probably the last time I'll write about him on here.  It's still hard to talk about.  I don't know if I'll ever really be able to let it go.  But I'm moving on with my life and I'm happier now than I ever knew I could be.  Little by little I'm learning to forgive.

PS I just want you all to know something.  This is a deeply personal matter for me and this is why I'm not sharing any details on my blog that can be read by anyone in the world.  That being said, if you would like to know the details please do ask me.  I honestly don't mind talking about it and I know that human nature is curious.  I love you all.

{day 3}

Nov 21, 2010

Something you have to forgive yourself for.
This one is hard to be honest about.  And it's even harder to be honest about with someone besides myself.  But here it is.
I have to forgive myself for not being who everyone else wants me to be.
As I've grown up I've come to realize that I am not going to make everyone happy.  Other people want me to act a certain way.  They want me to do things differently.  Live my life differently.  Be a different person.  It sometimes gives me the feeling that I'm a bad person or that I'm not good enough.  I'm learning to accept that I AM good enough.  I am a good person.  I love and I care and I am doing the BEST that I can.  I am going to mess up, make mistakes & learn a lot of things the hard way.  But that doesn't mean I'm a bad person.  Other people can love me or hate me.  There's nothing I can do about that.  I am doing the best that I know how.  I am learning every day.  Sometimes I'm going to disappoint people.  I'm not always going to live up to other's expectations.  But if I live up to MY expectations I think I'm doing a pretty good job.

{day 2}

Nov 20, 2010

Something you love about yourself.
This is the part where you're supposed to brag.  I'm happy to say I actually have quite a few things I love about myself.  The one I'm going to share might seem a little strange but I'll explain.
I love that I know how to be happy.
Yes, I know, to some people being happy isn't that difficult.  But I've battled with depression since I was a young teenager and I've been through hell this year.  Sometimes I smile & I think to myself it's kind of amazing that I still know how to be happy.  I truly enjoy my life, I'm learning to love the little things, and I appreciate every day for what it is.  I'm good at being happy.

{day 1}

Nov 19, 2010

Something you hate about yourself.
There are probably a few I could list.  Everyone has things they don't like about themselves.  But I think the one I'm going to share is this.  
I wish that I was better at letting the little things go.  
The funny thing is though, I'm pretty good at faking it.  If you truly make me mad I can usually put on my happy face and you'll never know the difference.  But inside it burns.  I want to learn to let it go when someone hurts me and remember that USUALLY people aren't setting out to be destructive.  Most people usually mean well.  When people do stupid things that hurt it's rarely on purpose.  So I need to learn to let it go.

{30 days}

My friend Dani posted this on her blog and told me I should do it too.  Am I brave enough?  Let's hope so. Maybe you should try it too.

"30 Days of Truth"

Day 1: Something you hate about yourself.
Day 2: Something you love about yourself.
Day 3: Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 4: Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 8: Someone who made your life horrible, or treated you like crap.
Day 9: Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11: Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12: Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13: A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough days. (write a letter.)
Day 14: A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18: Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19: What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20: Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21: (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22: Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24: Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25: The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26: Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27: What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28: What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29: Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30: A letter to yourself: tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.


Let me set the stage for you.
Sue, Shelly, Morgan, Lindsay, Cori & Jessi are all in the car driving home from Harry Potter at 4:30 in the morning.
We're giddy from the movie.
We're happy to be together.
We're silly little girls.
We start talking about the sexiest men alive.
We're all throwing out names.
Johnny Depp.
Channing Tatum.
Chace Crawford.
Then out of Cori's mouth:
Justin Beiber.
I don't remember the last time I laughed that hard.
I love this girl.


Nov 18, 2010

I have a favorite quote that has really put my life into perspective this year.  To say it's been a hard year would be an understatement.  I have been kicked, beaten, pushed around, fallen down, and somehow I've gotten back up.  Through it all I've just kept going.  I didn't know I had that kind of strength.

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."

Home. For Now.

Nov 17, 2010

I haven't stopped blogging.  But my thoughts lately have been deeply personal and as much as I love my blog there are a lot of things I won't write on it.  They've been about boys, mostly one in particular, and it is literally a daily roller coaster of emotions.  It's not an easy thing to go through.  But I am surviving.  

On a semi-related note.  I moved back to Utah indefinitely.  Everyone keeps asking me what I'm doing now and what my plans are.  I.  Do.  Not.  Know.  It's actually kind of liberating.  I'm just taking it one day at a time and figuring life out as I go along.  There are a lot of decisions I'll have to make in the next month and I'm not particularly excited about many of them so I'm taking it slow and doing it my way.  

Since I've been home I'm sang, danced, laughed, hugged, spent time with old friends, made lots of new friends and truly enjoyed my life. 


Nov 1, 2010

Pictures say more than words.  This was my Halloween.  Enjoy.

Zombie Prom:
Heather Bug
 Miranda & Heather
 Heather, Sue, Miranda
Love My Girls
 Amberdawn & Sue
 Amberdawn & Anami

Pumpkin Time:
 Miranda, Sue, Heather

LCL Party:
 Donut Eaters
 Pam & Sue!
 Sue & Anya
 Anke & Sue
Shannon & Sue

I missed all my Utah friends but Washington was pretty great!