I have been so emotional today. I'm not sure why exactly, I only know that most days I face the world with a cool calm, but a few random days I cry over nothing. Well today was one of those crying days. I've been facing the reality that I'm (99% sure I'm) missing my best friend's wedding and the birth of my niece. Two things I never thought I'd miss. It breaks my heart and today it hit home so hard. I've been thinking about them. Dreaming about them. Wishing I could be there. Planning packages to send. And missing them terribly. Please don't get me wrong. I adore my husband and at the end of the day there is nowhere I'd rather be than by his side. It's just hard some days when by his side is 7,000 miles away from everyone else I love.
I was watching Criminal Minds today (I may or may not have a morbid obsession with that show). It was the episode where Hotch loses his wife and I cried. Not just teared up, not just felt sad, full on cried with crocodile tears and tissues. Over a tv show that's not real. And then I felt so silly for crying over a tv show that's not real. I swear, I don't normally do that.
I got a package today from one of my favorite bloggers, Kris. I opened it and got teary (are we sensing a pattern?) although this time I didn't actually cry. The first thing I saw in the package was a star garland. How unique and fabulous is that? I immediately hung it across our curtains and I love how it looks. This picture does not do it justice.
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this post... I'm sure the rambling has something to do with it being almost 6am and the little insomniac inside of me is making me loopy. Perhaps if I could figure out a way to get more sleep I wouldn't be so emotional. But when I sleep I dream and when I dream I don't really sleep. Does that make any sense? Probably not. If I'm lucky my emotional day will throw me into a deep sleep once I finally have the time to lay my head on a pillow and try it out.
I was watching Criminal Minds today (I may or may not have a morbid obsession with that show). It was the episode where Hotch loses his wife and I cried. Not just teared up, not just felt sad, full on cried with crocodile tears and tissues. Over a tv show that's not real. And then I felt so silly for crying over a tv show that's not real. I swear, I don't normally do that.
I got a package today from one of my favorite bloggers, Kris. I opened it and got teary (are we sensing a pattern?) although this time I didn't actually cry. The first thing I saw in the package was a star garland. How unique and fabulous is that? I immediately hung it across our curtains and I love how it looks. This picture does not do it justice.
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this post... I'm sure the rambling has something to do with it being almost 6am and the little insomniac inside of me is making me loopy. Perhaps if I could figure out a way to get more sleep I wouldn't be so emotional. But when I sleep I dream and when I dream I don't really sleep. Does that make any sense? Probably not. If I'm lucky my emotional day will throw me into a deep sleep once I finally have the time to lay my head on a pillow and try it out.
Oh Sue! I've been there more times than I'd like to share! I'm so sorry you'll be missing those big events! Your heart will be there though! And the next time you see your best friend you'll be excited to hear and see everything that hasn't been covered through phone calls and emails about the wedding! And when you hold your niece for the first time it will be that much more special! I get to do that for the first time next week. Meet my baby niece who is six months old and lives so far away. It's been sad not getting to hold her but everytime I see her smiling face on FaceTime and Skype it just makes me that much more excited even though there's a level of sadness to it all. For the record, if you don't make the family reunion we'll miss you so much but we'll just have to get Internet at the site somewhere and we'll Skype! Love you sweet cousin! Hope the rest of your day is filled with more smiles than tears
ReplyDeleteSometimes a rambling blog post is what you need to get it all out. I think you are so brave to be so far away from family. Hubs police officer job could potentially relocate us, but I'm pushing for the 2 hour rule. I don't want to be more then 2 hours away. Yeah. We'll see how that goes.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you & hope tomorrow is a better day! = )
I definitely have those days every now and then! I am pretty sure it's normal :) But that Star garland is soo cute!
ReplyDeleteI've been pretty emotional today too. :( Sorry Sue :( I love you though! It's going to be ok. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you've been down-I have insomnia too and on nights I can't sleep I get way emotional too. Hugs : )
ReplyDeleteGirl I'm right there with you. I bawl. About everything, TV shows included. The stupid animal abuse commercials get me every stinkin time.
ReplyDeleteI cry all the time and I have no good reason for it. I'm pretty sure it's part of being a girl!
ReplyDeleteGosh, I've been much the same lately. I hope you're able to cheer up soon and that you get more lovely packages in the mail.
ReplyDeleteemotion is GOOD!!
ReplyDeleteit's hard to be away from your family (especially your very large family).
i think we all have those crying days.
I'm obsessed with Criminal Minds and that episode makes me bawl my eyes out every single time I watch it.
ReplyDeleteMissing things sucks. :( I hope your emotions don't get the best of you!
xo
I have days when I feel that way. The hardest part about living far away is not being able to attend things. :-(
ReplyDelete