Last week Everly and I went to Louisiana for my friend Taylor's wedding. I was a bridesmaid and E was a flower girl (and seriously the cutest flower girl there's ever been). We went down a few days early to help Taylor with all the wedding prep and it's a good thing too- there was so much to do! But because we're awesome we were able to pull it all together and the wedding was beautiful. To say that E enjoyed herself would be an understatement. She walked down the isle carrying a rock, not because that's what she was given to carry but because that's what she wanted to carry. It was adorable. She also ate sausage and cheese from Wisconsin (Taylor's home state), lots of pretzels dipped in chocolate, and a brat that was far too big to finish. It was such a fun week!
While I was there I had an experience that's been on my mind the last few days. One afternoon Taylor and I took a break from the wedding prep and sat at the kitchen table together. I scooped up Everly and started breastfeeding her and Taylor picked up her little boy Brantley and started bottle feeding him. We rocked our babies and talked about whatever we were doing at the time and fed our babies. As we were doing this I realized how awesome it is. We both get to feed and nurture our babies and it didn't matter that we weren't doing it the same way. We were both doing it with love for our children.
There's very much a mom-war out there between breastfeeders and bottle feeders. Not ALL of them of course, but definitely more than there should be. People have their own reasons for how they feed their child. I'm not going to explain Taylor's reasons for bottle feeding Brantley because 1. they're no one's business and 2. I shouldn't have to. She's caring for her son by giving him food. Isn't it wonderful that she can do that even when she doesn't have breastmilk to give? And I get the question often now: When are you going to wean her? My answer? Before she goes to college. It's a stupid answer for a stupid question. I don't have a date that I'm going to wean. It's not something I'm thinking about right now and I'm sure Everly will let me know when she's ready to do it. She doesn't breastfeed as often as she did when she wasn't eating solids but she still does it 3-4 times a day and I'm fine with that. In fact I love it. Like Taylor, I'm feeding my baby in the best way that works for us.
I really loved that I could be with my sweet friend and we could love and care for our babies together. It was really cool when I thought about it. If you breastfeed or bottle feed or mix-n-match it know this: you're doing the best you know how. And you're a good mom.
xo Sue
I love this post. I struggled to breastfeed my son, who is now 8, and my daughter, who is 6 months. I ended up bottle feeding. Both times I felt really sad about it. I really wanted to breastfeed. I wasn't as prepared as I should have been and became overwhelmed. Thankfully I have some great breast feeding and bottle feeding friends who made sure I knew that I was doing my best. I was caring for my baby and that's what matters. =)
ReplyDeleteThank you. It's been on my mind and heart so much lately! I don't understand why feeding babies is so controversial but there it is. I'm so glad you had good friends for support. Let's just all feed our babies and be the best mamas we can! :)
DeleteThis. YES. I hate that I'm starting to get the "when will you wean" question, because it took so long for us to establish this relationship. She's definitely not BFing as much now that food is (literally) on the table, but she's still on the boob multiple times a day, and as long as she wants it, I'm there to give it. Who cares how long I feed her and how I feed her? It took me a long time to not feel guilty about giving her some formula at night, and now that we do it doesn't really matter. Like you said, all that matters is that she's being fed.
ReplyDeleteOh the weaning question... Let's try noneofyourbusiness :) I'm glad I'm not the only one avoiding these questions. I just want to feed my baby. I don't think that's so hard to understand! Keep strong mama!
DeleteAmen! I'm new to this game... but it annoys me so much when the bf community puts another mother down for bottle feeding. To each their own. It's seriously nobody elses business!
ReplyDeleteAgreed! Lets all just feed our babies and be grateful that we can!
DeleteI loved this post. I have my reservations about the ingredients in formula, but being a crazy person about ingredients really runs in my family and it's something I learned. Also, I was breastfed for awhile, but eventually all of us (we got it from our dad's family) got extreme allergies to breastmilk, formula, cow's milk, even powdered milk!!! We were on a farm of course and had neighbors who gave my mom unpasteurized goat's milk and that was literally the only thing my sister and I could stomach. To this day that, or almond milk, is all I can really drink.
ReplyDeleteThe point is that the damn kid gets fed :D If I ever have a kid it's probably not something I'm going to worry about. If I can breastfeed, I will. If not, I'll find somebody with goat milk. LOL. Also, on an unrelated note, maybe Everly carrying a rock means that she's going to be a geologist one day. hahahahaha.
I love that you can relate without having a child of your own! It's such a controversial thing for no reason. Yes, breastmilk is great but feeding our babies is the ultimate goal! And if E wants to be a geologist that's fine with me! ;)
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