Application.

I am very protective of my friends and their feelings. Especially when it comes to boys. So yesterday I created this application for boys to fill out if they're interested in any of my friends. I've already emailed one out... Enjoy!

APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY BEST FRIEND Please note: If filling out and returning of application takes longer than a week you will be withdrawn from consideration.

NAME_____________________________________

DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________

DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES_________________________________

HOME ADDRESS________________________________________

CITY/STATE____________________________ ZIP__________

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No

Number of years they have been married ____________________

ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van?

B. A truck with oversized tires?

C. A waterbed?

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back?

(IF YOU ANSWERED "YES" TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE

APPLICATION AND SEVER ALL CONTACT IMMEDIATELY)

ESSAY SECTION:In 50 words or less, what does "LATE" mean to you?

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "DON'T TOUCH MY FRIEND" mean to you?

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does "ABSTINENCE" mean to you?

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend _____________________________

How often you attend __________________________

When would be the best time to interview your (include name and phone number):

father? _______________________________________

mother? _______________________________________

best friend? __________________________________

worst enemy? __________________________________

SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers are confidential. If you lie I will know.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

_______________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

_______________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:

_______________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

_______________________________________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? _______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

_______________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

_______________________________________________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room?

__________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.

_______________________________________________

Applicant's Signature

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow four to six years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not try to call or write. If your application is rejected, you will be notified by two gentleman wearing white ties carrying violin cases.