It's been strange the last 6 months to not do updates about E. She is growing and changing every day and yet after the first year it seemed... strange. I don't know why. She's 18 months now and for those not counting, that means she's lived outside my belly for TWICE as long as she lived in it. She is truly the most amazing little girl. She loves to play, she has a wild heart, and she's fiercely independent. She loves to do things on her own. 

Over the past week she's started stringing words together. They're not quite sentences but they're something. She says 2-3 words together to really get her point across. And sometimes she says a word that I wonder how she even knows it! Beyond saying real words, she loves to talk and talk in her own language and loves when I respond. She tells the best stories. 

Everly loves to dance! If music comes on she instantly begins wiggling her little body along with it. She can't seem to help herself. She climbs on everything and always has a scrape or a bump somewhere on her body. She doesn't slow down. It's so much fun to watch her develop and explore the world around her. Some days it's exhausting to have such a high energy child but really, I wouldn't have it any other way. This is who she is. 

Isn't she gorgeous? I cannot believe my Everly is 15 months old already. I sort of miss doing her monthly updates because she changes constantly and those were fun to look back on. She's saying SO many words now but my favorites are "love you" and "thank you." If I hand her something, anything, she says thank you. It is the sweetest thing. And if I say love you she'll smile big and say it back. When she decides she's hungry she'll walk up to me, try to lift up my shirt, and shout "Nurse!" It always makes me laugh. I tried to teach her to ask sweetly but the girl knows what she wants. Food, mama, food! This little dress was a thrift store hand-me-down and it's my favorite one she owns. Sometimes the best treasures come from unexpected places! I love you, little E.

xo Sue

Dear Everly,

I'm struggling deeply to find the words to say to you today. You are one year old. One year ago I kissed you for the first time. I held your tiny hand in mine while I breastfed and held you close. I saw your perfect eyes staring straight into mine and all I could think was "I know you." I still remember that feeling, that moment of knowing you. Oh Everly, you are perfection. You are so big and brave and beautiful. You are my little adventurer and you are fearless. You fall down a thousand times and stand right back up each and every time. You have so much to teach me about life, you show me this every single day.

There are moments of my day that I wish I could freeze and keep forever. The days with you are an absolute joy. Although I never pictured myself as a mother (and definitely not one who stayed home with her baby) I cannot imagine my life otherwise. You teach me each day what being a mother really is. Even at this moment you're sitting in my lap, snuggled up exhausted and refusing to go to sleep, and I adore it. You are my daughter, my heart, my greatest joy.

Sometimes I am completely overwhelmed with my life as your mother. You are such an incredible little person and I am nothing in comparison. You are so determined, so smart, so beautiful. Sometimes I don't know what I could possibly have to offer you. But I always do my best because you are amazing and worth every second of fear and worry. You are worth every second of beauty and joy. My favorite moments are when you smile your perfect toothy smile at me. And when you give me baby kisses.

My sweet little Ever, you make me believe in magic. Because there is nothing in this world more incredible than you. Happy First Birthday my love.

Love Always,
Mama

My sweet baby girl. Somehow time keeps passing by. I've never noticed how quickly it does that until this lady came into my life. This month I tried to keep a list of all the new things she learned because they were so amazing to me. And there were so many! I know I didn't manage to keep track of them all, but these were just a few of my favorites. Everly...

• Waves
• Smacks her lips
• Says "yeah" to questions
• Drinks from a straw (it's very messy)
• Holds her arms out to be picked up
• Brings me things to share 
• Says "uh-oh"
• Head bangs (daddy taught her that one, then she taught Lizzie)
• Climbs in and out of the toy car
• Says "da-dy"
• Climbs down from the bed and couch
• Pushes her shopping cart around the house
• Clicks her tongue
• Gives hugs when she's asked
• Gives kisses (sometimes with tongue)
• Runs from "I'm gonna get you!"
• Tries to sneak and get dog food
• Understands "No"
• Walks backwards
• Runs
• Slides my iPhone on
• Stomps her feet quickly and laughs 
• Points to 'nose' (hers and others)
• Climbs onto everything

The list could continue. She has grown and changed so much in the last month, it's just amazing to me. She has four beautiful teeth now and nurses like a champ with them. At first they were painful but now I hardly notice them. Fun fact: Everly had no interest in her pacifier until we moved to Utah. Once she saw how much Lizzie loved hers, Everly decided that a pacifier was indeed for her. I don't mind though, she's only little for a very small amount of time. We're still loving the family bed. Since we don't have a king sized bed we've taken two queen sized mattresses and pushed them together to make all three of us comfortable. She takes up 2/3 of one, Aaron takes a whole one by himself, and I'm squished into the 1/3 that's left between the two of them. And I wouldn't have it any other way. She's gained maybe 1/2 a pound over the last month but she's so active that I believe it. 

Everly loves to run, jump, climb, and play- all things I didn't think I'd say before one year! Next month I'm prepared to shed a lot of proud/happy/nostalgic mama tears over the first birthday of my sweet lady. I am not ready but it's coming anyway. I'm planning a fun little party for some family and close friends the weekend before her birthday. It's going to be so wonderful to celebrate Everly with the people we love. 

xo Sue

Ten months. I struggle to find the words. Perhaps because it's the last month of the year that E was born? Or maybe just my denial that she could possibly be growing so quickly. I remember this time last year. I was seven months pregnant and working with my husband and my doula to prepare myself mentally and physically for childbirth. I was a little sad because pregnancy hormones (yep, we're blaming them) were making me miss home and family extra over the holiday season. Aaron and I were planning a quiet Christmas with just the two of us. It was the calm before the hurricane that is Everly. And what a beautiful hurricane she has been.

Everly is still my happy, growing girl. I'm still her happy, exhausted mama.

• E is into EVERYTHING. I have a small cupboard on my computer desk that she likes to get into while I type (like right now). At first it held my things but after she proved that she's determined to get in there no matter how hard I try to keep her out I emptied it and filled it with things for her to play with. Now she can spend a good 20 minutes pulling things out and opening and shutting the door. 
• She weighs 18 pounds now. It's not much of a jump from the last time I posted her weight but she's growing healthy and strong so we're not at all worried. She still has chunky little thighs (although not as big as before she started walking) and she's got beautiful baby chub in all the right spots. Including her feet.
• Her beautiful blonde hair is getting longer and more blonde. She's going to go white blonde this summer, I'm sure. 
• Pretty quickly after she mastered walking she taught herself to climb the stairs. And by taught herself I mean she walked over to them and just started going for it. This girl is fearless. 
• Everly knows how to stand up without holding on to anything now. She puts her hands on the floor, sticks her bum in the air, and just stands right up like a big girl. I cannot believe my eyes sometimes. 
• She also knows how to climb down from the bed. She only does it if I'm on the floor already. If I'm on the bed she'll play there happily. Occasionally she'll decide she's done with a nap and climb down to play without making a peep. I'm considering making her wear a bell for her naps... 
• She's barely cut her third tooth, the top right one. It popped through yesterday and her gums are swollen on the left, ready to break open at any moment. As far as nursing is concerned, I'm okay if her teeth don't all come in for a while! She's very considerate about not biting me while she nurses though.
• Everly had her first Thanksgiving. She loved mashed potatoes (I think because she could squish them), gravy (definitely for the flavor), and turkey (she really likes meat). She did not love mama being in the kitchen all day cooking. 
• And my favorite thing she's learned this month: Everly dances. If she hears music she starts bopping her head and bouncing her knees up and down. It's adorable and it's about the extent of her daddy's dance skills. I joke! (Sort of...) We have dance parties now and they're amazing. She'll even dance when I sing to her.

xo Sue

I feel as if Everly's 9th month of life went by so quickly. More quickly than any of the others. It might be because her newest cousin Sam was born and we spent a good amount of energy and time focusing on that. And E just kept right on growing. Didn't she know she needed to give me a little break? But despite its quick passing this month has been absolute magic. Having little Sam around has reminded me deeply of when I gave birth to this little miracle of mine. And now I see her as this beautiful nine month old baby and I realize that she's been outside my body as long as she was inside it. There's something special about the ninth month and I believe that's it.

Everly is becoming independent and curious like never before. She wants to see everything, touch everything, taste everything, do everything.

• Everly has started walking. Last month I shared that she was taking steps here and there. Now she walks for real. She walks everywhere and always looks SO proud of herself afterwards. It probably helps that I cheer for her, but initially we did nothing to encourage her walking except watch in awe. She definitely decided to do it on her own. She's slow but steady and I'm sure the pace is going to pick up soon. She's already made improvements in just a few short weeks.
• She learned how to clap. She'll walk up to me and clap her hands. I always shout "Yay Everly!" when she claps for herself. She has the biggest smile when we do this.
• E's favorite song is "If You're Happy and You Know It"- obviously because she gets to clap the whole time. 
• We've found her ticklish spots this month and her giggle when being tickled is music to my soul. She also loves to blow raspberries, usually on my cheek to wake me up in the morning.
• Everly celebrated her first Halloween this month and was the cutest little lion there ever was. She also had her first taste of chocolate thanks to her daddy's love of it. She enjoyed the chocolate but thankfully still likes all the other flavors in the world and doesn't need the sweets.
• We finally found a food she didn't like: canned asparagus. I do wonder if she'd like baked asparagus because it tastes so different. Perhaps we'll test that theory at Thanksgiving!
• Ever picks a word of the day, usually mama or dada, and says almost nothing else for 24 hours. Then she picks again the next day. It's precious and I love when her word is mama. Then again, I love when it's dada too. This girl sure loves her daddy.
• E is still breastfeeding, bed sharing, and baby wearing every day. We've been doing those things since birth and I really feel the connection it's helped us develop. She adores me and I adore her. She's so much happier just being in a room with me and if she has my attention she shines. She loves her daddy and grandparents too, but right now she's definitely a mama's girl.

I cannot be grateful enough for this precious lady. She is everything that is good in the world and in me. I count her as my biggest blessing every single day. Mama loves you bugga.

xo Sue

Eight beautiful months. How am I so lucky to spend them with this darling girl? She is an absolute joy to be around! I accidentally started planning her first birthday party a few days ago. It was accidental because I happened upon a picture of a cake that caused an explosion of ideas in my mind. I had so much fun planning until I realized that it's really not that far away. Then I had a good little cry. Is this how my mom has felt for the last 27+ years?

So many things have happened this month, I hardly know where to begin.

• Everly had her first two teeth pop through! She's a little bit of a late teether but I can promise you I wasn't upset about that. Now when she gives me a big grin those two little teeth poking out of her lower gums smile up at me too. It's absolutely precious.
• I spent my first nighttime away from Ever this month. I've never spent the night away from her, but one night this month Aaron and I went out to a late dinner with friends and our baby stayed with her grandma. They laughed and played and she had someone other than her mama put her to sleep at night for the first time. I'm sure it was a lot harder for me than for her because she was sound asleep when I got back. 
• Ever has started standing all on her own (see the pic above). She's getting her balance and loves to show it off. She's taken a few accidental steps without holding anything but for now her walking usually happens while holding on to something. 
• A few days ago she was sitting in the middle of the room and just stood up. She didn't walk or move in any direction, she just stood up without holding on to anything. I think she was showing off for me because she had a big grin that said "Look what I can do mama!" 
• She's absolutely loving table food and she's getting really good at feeding herself. If I try and help she pushes my hand away, takes the food out of my hand, and does it herself. We've got a very independent little lady here. 
• Everly still breastfeeds for most of her nutrients. I can't explain how happy this makes me. I love that my little girl gets everything she needs from me. I love that she loves to nurse. I love that she wants to nurse. I'll be just a little heartbroken when she decides she's done with her nursing days. Hopefully that day is pretty far off. 
• She's going through her very first "mommy phase" and it's been just a little bit exhausting. Luckily she's already starting to come out of it, but there were a few days that I couldn't even put her down for 30 seconds without causing an absolute meltdown. On those days I just whispered how much I love her and reminded myself that it would pass. 
• And my favorite new thing this month: Everly has learned to give kisses. If I ask for a kiss and lean in towards her she'll lean in too and press her slobbery lips onto mine. They are the most beautiful, magical kisses in the world. 

My sweet baby girl, you are amazing. Every single day you teach me something new about being a mother, about being your mother, and about being myself in a whole new way. I adore you and every moment that I get to be your mom. My Ever Bug, you are the most intelligent, creative, curious, exhausting, beautiful, mischievous, stunning person I know. 

xo Sue

Everly turning seven months old came and went without much fanfare. I was at a doula training conference all weekend and even though I was aware of my baby growing older it was easier to pretend it didn't happen because I wasn't present for every moment. Still, she continues to amaze me at every turn and insists on growing up into an amazing little person.

My lady E has grown in so many ways this month.

• Everly is a big time crawler now. She began to crawl for real 6 days before her 7 month mark. She loves being able to get where she wants to go without dragging her face on the ground. Of course, her preferred method of travel is still to call out for her mama to pick her up.
• She also LOVES to stand. All of the sudden she's decided she has no business sitting on the ground and she must be upright at all times. She walks around the room holding on to things. It's slow going but it's progress. I'm sure she'll be walking long before I'm ready for it. Also, if she can snatch a stool she'll push it around the room and walk with it. I've tried to capture it on video a few times but she seems to know when I'm recording and instantly stops performing her amazing little tricks. 
• She can climb down from the bed now. She'll crawl to the edge, slip her legs out to dangle over the edge, and drop to the ground. Our bed is intentionally low to the ground because we bed-share and we want it to be as safe as possible for our lady. She often wakes up from her naps and slides to the floor before calling to her mama to get picked up. I laugh every time I walk in the room and she's standing next to the bed. She always looks SO proud of herself, I can't help myself from being proud too.
• Everly loves to talk to anyone who will listen. Often when Aaron and I are having a conversation we'll look at her while talking to each other. Her eyes light up to be included and it makes my heart happy to see my daughter happy. I can see her learning while she watches us talk.
• Ever still breastfeeds for 95% of her nutrients and is showing no signs of wanting to stop. I'm absolutely thrilled with this! I want to nurse her as long as she wants me to. I'm grateful every single day for our beautiful nursing relationship. I know we are so lucky to have this relationship and it never ceases to amaze me how much comfort and love it brings to both of us. However, given the chance Ever would eat cheese quesadillas for every single meal. Or bananas.

At seven months this perfect little lady has me in awe every single day. She is so smart, so sweet, so happy, so loving. She is a delight to everyone she interacts with and she never fails to make me smile. A small part of me feels this is all happening so quickly, watching this darling grow up, but a much more prominent part of me has felt and loved every single minute of these last seven months. I adore my role as her mother. Even on the hard days.

xo Sue

As I'm writing this I feel a little bit of shock. I always knew that the months and eventually years with my daughter would fly by. But knowing it and experiencing it are two very different things. I thought life moved quickly without her- I had no idea. This little lady has turned my life upside down and completely changed my heart. She's given me more love and patience and happiness than I ever knew was possible. There are no words to describe her perfection. Everything she does makes me smile. Even her little baby cries make me smile. They're so precious. I am so grateful to her for teaching me the true meaning of unconditional love.

I had a moment last week where I told Aaron I'm not ready to be a mom to a six month old. He laughed and said too bad. That's all the sympathy he has for me! I think it's different for dads. He adores her (honestly more than any father/daughter I've ever seen) but he also leaves her each day to go to work. He sleeps through her nighttime feedings. He knows the joy of taking a shower by himself and not worrying that there's a crying baby in the other room. He doesn't spend every waking and sleeping moment caring for her, worrying for her, nurturing her.

Our lady has grown in so many ways it would be impossible to list them all but perhaps I'll try just a few.

• Everly still breastfeeds almost exclusively. We're doing baby led weaning and we love it. But she doesn't actually get much in her tummy when she's feeding herself and it's not mush. So yay for yummy mommy milk to keep her growing healthy and strong.
• She goes to sleep between 7 and 8 and wakes up between 6 and 8 each day. In that sense she does sleep through the night because she's finally stopped waking up at 3am to play. She still nurses 2-3 times a night but I think it's more of a comfort thing than an actually being hungry thing. Hopefully she'll start to move out of that stage, but if not we've both perfected the art of nursing while asleep. And that is not a joke.
• She still babbles all the time and her favorite is still dadada. She has yet to say mamama or anything like it. It's okay though, I know how much a little girl loves her daddy. After all, I'm 27 and still a daddy's girl.
• Ever has the crawling stance down but hasn't started moving around in it yet. She also grabs things and pulls herself up to stand. However, she still uses rolling and scooting as her preferred methods of transportation. Or yelling for mom. That one works great for her. 

And apparently 6 months is too old to hold still for a picture. I followed her around all day with the camera but she was more interested in playing!

xo Sue

So I definitely planned on doing a "special" picture once a month so I could ooh and aah over house big Miss Everly is getting. As it turns out, life threw me a few loops and it just never happened. But that's okay, right? I still take pictures of her every single day. That's a win to me. I keep thinking she's bald because her cousin Lizzy has so.much.hair. Then I remind myself that a) Lizzie is 8 months older and b) it doesn't really matter anyway. Every month when I write these updates I look back and her previous updates and I realized something this month. She's no longer bald. I know, she was never actually bald, but she had such thin, light hair that it felt that way. Comparing her 3 month picture to now? She's definitely growing some hair. Yay baby!

• Everly sits up on her own now. Yes, she still falls over sometimes, but she's definitely got it down. She just has to want to do it. 
• She's started going to bed at 7:30 (!!!) most nights and after a lot of rocking together in the middle of the night she's figured out how to sleep all night. She still wakes up to eat but she goes right back to sleep afterwards. This I can handle.
• She now sits in her high chair and gnaws on real food. We're trying out baby led weaning (if you've never heard of it, click the link) and so far we love it. She gets to play and make a mess every day at dinner (just in time for a bath!) and I get to eat with both of my hands. Win-win. 
• Everly has eaten (or gnawed on, sucked on, and gummed on) watermelon, green beans, broccoli, banana, noodles, and a pancake. I don't think she's gotten much past her gums yet but she's really been having fun trying.
• She's suddenly decided her favorite thing to say is DADADADADADA as loud as she can. It literally started today and it's amazing. She doesn't know what (or who) it means but she knows I get really excited every time she does it. 

And on that note, when do you count it as their first word? She knows what she's saying now. She knows it means something. She doesn't know it means Aaron though. And she doesn't say dadada to get to him, she just says it. So is this her first word? I can't decide. Seriously, opinions?? 

xo Sue

The cliché line: I can't believe how big my baby is getting! But it's true, I really can't. I have seen so much change in this little lady that I can hardly believe it. She's currently sitting in my lap and trying to help me type this post. She REALLY wants to help. It's harder with her help but so much fun. 

• Everly smiles at everyone! A month ago I said she smiles all the time but I had no idea. She has truly become the happiest baby I know. 
• She loves faces. If you look at her she lights up and if you include her in a conversation she will talk back. One day I'll even understand her words.
• Her toes are her favorite thing. She figured out how to get them all the way to her mouth and suck away.
• Everly currently weighs 14 1/2 pounds and is exactly 2 feet tall. She's growing so well and she LOVES to eat. 
• She's had a hard time with sleeping the past few weeks because Japan and Utah have a 15 hour time difference. It's been a hard adjustment but she's back to at least one 5-6 hour stretch a night. I'm hoping we turn that into 2 stretches soon. I need a little more sleep!
• She rolls all over the place, from her back and her tummy, so I can't leave her alone ever!

My sweet darling girl. Words cannot express the love I have for you. 

xo Sue

My baby is 3 months old today. 3 MONTHS OLD. How did this happen? I swear I just gave birth yesterday. So something I'm struggling with? My baby is growing way too fast. Way.too.fast. 

How does it go from the left photo to the right in just 3 months? It's so cliche to say, but it goes by so fast. So to celebrate 3 beautiful months of life I'll share a few things about our little love.

• She has many names. Everly - Evie - Ever - Ever bug - love bug - lady - stinker (when she's being one). 
• She smiles all the time and sometimes, when we're really lucky, she'll even laugh for us. Aaron is particularly good at getting our lady to laugh. Dads are just funnier than moms I suppose.
• She likes to play with toys now. Anything that makes noise and goes in her mouth is a favorite in her book.
• Speaking of putting things in her mouth, there is always something in her mouth. Even if I'm wearing her, she'll suck on the edge of the baby carriers. She particularly likes to eat her fist or my hair. I can't wait to get back to Utah and cut it! 
• Our Ever girl also loves to stand. She can't do it by herself (not even close) but she's practicing those muscles and loves when Aaron and I help her up to stand. 

In short, my baby is growing. I'm loving it because she's becoming this whole person all her own. She has a strong personality and she's an absolute delight. But it's bittersweet because that newborn-ness has completely left and I'll never have my tiny one back. I'll cherish those precious memories forever and love every second of watching this lady grow. We completely adore her.

xo Sue

ps Did I just cop out on this writing prompt? Maybe. But the things I'm struggling with... my physical health, my husband losing his job, and my cross-continent move in a handful of days... I've talked about all of them during this challenge. I don't want to beat a dead horse. And now that I contemplate that phrase I realize how very strange it is. But I digress. 
Truly, it's hard for me to watch my precious girl grow. I'm also really struggling with taking care of myself though. My basic needs are met. I eat, I exercise, I sleep (sort of). But anything beyond that has sort of fallen to the wayside. I love this blogging challenge because it's forced me to sit down at my computer every day and take a few moments to do something that I love just for myself. I love writing. I love blogging. I've been taking an online photography course that has been so fun. I do these things at night. I tuck Everly into my ring sling and rock her to sleep. Then, with my girl strapped to me sleeping, I settle into my desk chair and write my little heart out. 
I've started to think of myself again, outside of being a mom. I'm remembering the things I want to do for myself. I'm remembering that if I want to be a good mother to Everly I absolutely have to take time for myself and nourish my soul. And I'm remembering that if I want to be the best example I can, I need to be strong for myself and my family, and not get lost in the shuffle of every day life. It's been rejuvenating.    Want to keep reading? Follow me on Bloglovin'!

My sweet baby girl is 2 months old. The headband is a little too big. The onesie is totally from the boys section. She wasn't in the mood to smile. She's absolute perfection. 

• Everly is sitting up with just a little support from behind.
• On April 12th she rolled over for the first time. She looked really startled, like she had no idea what had happened, and she refuses to try it again no matter how much I cheer for her. She just thinks I'm playing.
• She smiles all the time, especially when I smile at her first. I can tell she's trying to laugh but she hasn't quite figured that one out yet. 
• She's 12 pounds now. That's right, my darling girl is growing much faster than her mama is ready for. She'll be in college before I know what's happened.
• She sleeps in 4-5 hour stretches at night. I'm hoping she'll move to 6-7 hours soon so my zombie-ness will fade just a little. 

Today I took her in for her 2 month check-up and several times I was reminded to stop by immunizations to get her shots. Yikes! I've spent the past two weeks doing all sorts of research on infant vaccinations and I wrote up my own plan to get them done. I shared it with the doctor and after discussing my feelings on it and different options he said my plan was very well thought out and he would support me in our alternative vaccination schedule. I felt so proud for doing the research and sticking up for what I wanted. I was grateful that the doctor didn't look at me like I was crazy for wanting to do something outside the box. When we went into the immunization clinic they did give me the crazy person look. I told them our doctor went over the plan with me and was supportive so they made me sign a waiver stating I was going against the standard. I could tell they're not used to people choosing something different. I had to laugh a little to myself. 

xo Sue

This has been the most challenging, incredible, beautiful month of my life. Everly is growing and changing every day. It is such a blessing to be the mom to this little angel.

• Grandma left last night after spending a month with us. It was so much fun to have her with us and Everly definitely misses her. So do I.
• Everly is sleeping 4-5 hours at night now which is so nice for me. She also takes great naps and sometimes I even take them with her. We've been bed sharing and we all love it. 
• She's a pro at eating and growing. I'm not sure what her weight is now but last time she was weighed she was up almost a pound from her birth weight. 
• She loves to sit up, look around, and practice holding her head up on her own. She started holding her head up two weeks ago and now she can do it so well. 
• Everly's favorite time of day is when daddy comes home from work. He washes his hands, picks her up, and plays with her until she wants dinner. She loves looking at faces and her daddy's is one of her favorites. She also loves to make noise at him gets excited when he makes noise back.
• A few days ago Everly started smiling real smiles and she smiles the most when her daddy is playing with her. I love to watch the two of them together. It's my favorite part of the day.

My dear, sweet Everly. You are an absolute joy. I count you as my biggest blessing every single day.

xo Sue

Everly Eden Crowder

Born 20 February 2013 at 5:20 pm

7lbs 9oz, 19.5 inches 

She is perfect